A few short weeks after my graduation, Father’s Day rolled around and my sister dragged me out of town to visit him. Throughout the entire visit, he and my stepmother brought up things I’d mentioned in that letter I included with my invitation. I still see the side-eye my sister gave me many times throughout the visit, wondering what the hell they were talking about. I also noticed my business card sitting on the mantle… it was hard to miss. My face was on it and my hair was just as bright red back then as it is now. I knew very early on that he received my graduation invitation but didn’t bother to show up or acknowledge it.
by the grace of Spirit, i somehow managed to keep my cool...
At the end of the visit, as the sun was setting on a hot summer day, I had a rare, brief moment alone with my father — turns out this would be the last. It was as if time stood still. My father faced away from me, marveling, commenting on the vivid colors of the magnificent sky. He had his hands resting on the railing and his shoulders bunched up to his ears, as he leaned over to take in as much of the scene as possible. As if compelled by Spirit and before I could stop myself, I asked my father if he received my invitation.
Instantly, his shoulders sank and his grip on the railing tightened. He went from looking like a barrel of man to a tiny boy. The tension in the air was suddenly thick and palpable. Without ever looking at me, my father paused for what seemed like a million lifetimes and he whispered “no.”
something in me shifted at that moment...
I truly saw what kind of man he was, especially his lack of integrity. I didn’t feel wounded, instead, I was emboldened. I stood up straighter, raised my chin high, and replied with a simple, “ok.”
i was done.
A flurry of painful memories rushed through my mind as I watched him struggle with the awkwardness of the situation. Time seemingly slowed further as the hot summer breeze stung my cheeks, as if to keep me present and not focus on all the times he forgot me, my birthday, my dance recitals, and graduations. Instead, I felt relief, almost pity for him, and as much closure as I was ever going to get from him. I didn’t argue or point out his blatant lie. It finally dawned on me that he wasn’t worth my energy, my time, or my tears.
Not long after this revelation, I began the process of changing my last name to that of my dad — the man who loved me as his own, unconditionally, from the age of two. It was one of the greatest gifts I’d ever give myself and this wonderful human that I began to call Dad from that day forward. It was also the last time I saw my biological father again.
i realized that i am enough exactly as i am.
I can be all of me and still be loved and appreciated. I don’t have to water myself down or round out my edges just to fit into a mold that was never meant for me in the first place. I noticed that Spirit showed up and showed out by inspiring me to take action and truly open my eyes to love me for who I truly am… and to own that magic I have within. As time passed, there would be more opportunities for me to truly step into my own magic and develop more self-love but the lesson remained the same: I am enough. I am magical. I am loved exactly as I am. And I don’t have to be a muted version of myself to please anyone.
and the same is true for and within business.
It can be a huge leap of faith to go all in and own your magic — as spiritual entrepreneurs, we likely have seen or experienced firsthand the alienation that comes with our woo-woo walk. And as such, many of us water that down out of fear of rejection.
In my work with heart-centered businesses, I recognize a disconnect between my clients' passion, what lights them up, and how they actually show up in their business. Many hold parts of themselves back to play it safe while others are more than ready to step into their magic but don't know how to surface it, let alone articulate it verbally or visually.
Spiritual entrepreneurs have the power to help others break out of their status quo and experience true, life-changing growth. My mission is to empower these beautiful souls to envision and embody their own magic so they become magnetic to their star clients, which leads to higher vibrations and loads of healing.